Flirtation…Frustration…

“Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. We are less dissatisfied when we lack many things than when we seem to lack but one thing.” Eric Hoffer
After my workout this evening, I went out to dinner with a group of guys. I ended up sitting next to the gentleman who was the life of the party. Although the age gap between us might be considered wide, I was completely enchanted by the man. The evening started out with nice banter among the different guys. As a recent addition to the group, I just enjoyed listening to the give and take between men familiar with each others’ trials and tribulations. We were already pleasantly packed around a large round table when a couple of extra guys arrived. At first, we started to merge an empty table with our table, but then abandoned that idea in favor of just moving in closer to each other.

 So my knee rubs up against Mr Life of the Party. I decide to let my knee remain and see what came of it. Without hesitating, he placed his hand on my leg and began to rub up and down. Dinner just became a lot more interesting! He was a perfect gentleman; his hand never rode up too far (damn) nor did he become insistent for anything more (double damn). His hand just remained there on my leg for the rest of the dinner. I can’t tell you what else was said around the table. I was just so happy to feel the touch of another person. It’s been a while since anyone has touched me and meant more than just hello. Unfortunately dinner ended and he eventually removed his hand. I hope to bump into him again.

The under table hand play was wonderful and I wish it had led to something less innocent. I enjoyed the thrill of it all. Of course as I made my way back home, alone again, the crushing loneliness set in again. It wasn’t as bad as going home after Mancrush. At least I made some form of contact tonight. I wonder if these men can sense my desperation for physical contact? Perhaps I am exuding a pheremone similar to the ones produced by mammals in heat; however, mine is a scent that warns men away. I still mark this up as a pleasant evening, regardless of my current state of frustration.